


Tomorrow doesn't exist

by liquid_summer



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Rough Sex, Smut, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 13:43:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20243797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquid_summer/pseuds/liquid_summer
Summary: Yuzuru is heartbroken. Xinyu is more than happy to help him forget all about that.





	Tomorrow doesn't exist

**Author's Note:**

> I just had an idea on a boring summer day back in June, and then this happened.
> 
> Thank you so much to my lovely beta, YuzuYoKoi, who took the time and effort to correct my mistakes! <3

Yuzuru has always liked to make everyone believe he's innocent - drawing people in with his seemingly untainted purity and naivety, basking in the light and warmth of their attention. He's always enjoyed the gentle touches on his body, people worrying he might be too delicate, too sensitive. But Yuzuru always knows what he's doing. Behind his innocent mask, his hunger is maddening; craving to be touched, to be loved, to be looked at. No one can look away from him when he's around them, and that is exactly what he wants.

Yuzuru also knows what he's doing when he asks Xinyu Liu to unzip his costume in the men's locker room after a gala of an exhausting competition, even though he could do it easily himself. He closes his eyes as the man stands behind him and slowly opens up the back of his Notte Stellata costume, white feathers peeling off and exposing the boy's bare back glistening with sweat. When Xinyu’s palm lingers on the nape of his neck for a second, lost in the sight, lost in Yuzuru's scent and the silkiness of his skin, Yuzuru smirks to himself, pleased.

He knows what he's doing when he makes a conscious effort for direct eye contact, and short, meaningful touches every single time they meet. A faint brush of fingers on Xinyu's strong, veined forearm, a light touch on his broad shoulders when the man tells him a funny story during the Helsinki banquet, or a not so discreetly tilted hip towards him when they take a picture together.

It has no deeper meaning. Yuzuru simply likes men, and he likes flirting with them.

The first time Yuzuru asks Xinyu to lift him, it's just a joke. But as the strong, wide palms slide between his thighs, and the young man picks Yuzuru up like he is nothing but a feather, something changes. There is a craving deep in his body, something new, coiling deep inside his lower abdomen, pulling him towards Xinyu like a powerful magnet. When he wraps one arm around Xinyu's broad shoulder, just casually, trying to keep his emotions as hidden as possible, he wishes Xinyu would do this again. Pick him up like a lifeless doll. 

_Control him. _

Ravage him.

For the first time in his life, Yuzuru wants someone to take the control _away_ from him.

By the time he even realizes, Xinyu already puts him down, and Yuzuru can't help but notice the way the young man looks at him afterwards. It is just a stolen glance, nothing more, perhaps nothing meaningful; maybe he is reading too much into it. But Yuzuru knows that look, he always has. It is the same look all those men he flirts with gives him - predatory hunger, deeply hidden behind wide, black pupils, easily missed if someone is not as observant as Yuzuru.

He doesn't even think about the obvious intentions when Xinyu asks him if he wants to go out for a drink the day after the banquet.

Yuzuru refuses, polite and without a second thought, his heart blind and someone else's.

It doesn't matter how many men he flirts with at galas and ice shows. 

Yuzuru is in love with another man.

***

Nearly two years later in Saitama, everything is different. 

He's been taking pictures with every person at the banquet who approached him, and there is more than what he thought he could handle. He hasn't seen Xinyu in a long time, and he hasn't thought about him too much either. Not at all, to be fully honest. During PyeongChang, Xinyu approached him in the Olympic village and asked him out yet again, but Yuzuru said no, although for entirely different reasons than he had in Helsinki.

In Helsinki, Yuzuru said no because he was yearning, dreaming about another man; falling asleep with his kind face in his mind, looking forward to each day seeing him at practice, leaning into his friendly touches, enjoying his warm compliments, getting lost in his radiant smile.

In PyeongChang, it was all different. Yuzuru says no because he was grieving that part of his heart and soul that Javier had taken from him right after the Olympic gala.

Tonight, Yuzuru wants to forget all of that.

Tonight, Yuzuru has a silver medal tucked deep inside his suitcase in his hotel room instead of a gold one proudly displayed on his bedside table. There's a constant bitter taste lingering in his mouth ever since the medal ceremony. His ankle is aching, dull and never-ending, as well as his heart. This time, when Javi arrives at the banquet hall, Yuzuru isn't the first person he greets. He doesn't place his hand on Yuzuru's neck like he always used to. He doesn't linger during their hug. They don't sneak out together after dinner to share hasty kisses and silly giggles in the dark hallway. Javi doesn't call him Spanish nicknames and doesn't promise to show him a Spanish summer and the rink he used to skate at in Madrid.

This time, Javi doesn't make love to him in his hotel room on a long, freezing cold February night, slow and steady, lost in a drunken haze. He doesn't confess his love to Yuzuru with tears streaming down his face while their bodies are connected; only to leave in the morning before Yuzuru wakes up, leaving nothing but a note behind, shattering Yuzuru's fragile heart into a million pieces.

Tonight, Javi is polite and friendly, as he has always been to everyone - but when he gives Yuzuru a brief hug and congratulates him for his silver medal, there is a gaping distance between them that drives Yuzuru mad and makes his stomach upset. He wants nothing more than to get away from all these people, to get away from Javi. More than anything, he wants to get away from them _with_ Javi, just the two of them, but he knows it's not going to happen, not anymore, not ever again. The sheer thought of that makes his chest and throat tight, so tight that he has to excuse himself to the restroom where he finally lets his tears fall, without any intrusive eyes or cameras around him.

Yuzuru washes his face and takes a few deep breaths before reentering the banquet hall. 

He is having a rather necessary, polite conversation with a JSF official, wearing his most charming smile and trying to pay attention to what she says when he spots Xinyu just a few steps away from him. Yuzuru can’t tear his eyes away from him, getting lost in the sight of the tall, muscular but lithe figure. Something aches in Yuzuru, the unfamiliarity of his body makes his insides tremble, and yet, something is drawing him in. He wants something new, something entirely different, new memories to replace the old, bittersweet ones in his mind.

Yuzuru does his best to keep the polite, meaningless conversation going, but when Xinyu notices him and starts walking towards him with a smile, he can't form a coherent sentence anymore. His heartbeat speeds up as Xinyu greets both of them, and Yuzuru needs only a few minutes to decide that no, he definitely wasn't wrong about Xinyu's intentions back in Pyeongchang and Helsinki. Back then, his judgement was clouded, his eyes blind to anyone who wasn't Javi.

It's different now.

He wants to forget.

Well, he doesn't _want_ to. But he _needs to_.

Javi gave him no choice.

Shiyue joins them soon after the official leaves, and this time, Yuzuru doesn't even need to ask. It is Xinyu who offers to lift him, just a few minutes into their casual jokes and conversation. When the man picks him up - with even more ease than two years ago - his fingers slide between Yuzuru's thighs once again, perhaps slightly higher up than necessary. And when he wraps his arm underneath both of Yuzuru's legs to steady him, his touch lingers on the boy's inner thigh, drawing invisible tiny circles against the fabric of Yuzuru's pants with his thumb. It's a feather-like gesture, barely there and certainly not noticeable to anyone else around them, but to Yuzuru, it's powerful. It's so powerful that it sets his skin ablaze beneath his clothes that feel awfully warm and uncomfortable all of a sudden, and he wants nothing more but to peel them off his body; it's so powerful that his cheeks turn into a soft, blush pink color as Xinyu puts him down and brushes his hands against the boy’s narrow waist one last time. He is slow and careful, as if Yuzuru was made of porcelain, as if he wouldn't want to risk breaking him.

Oh, but that's all what Yuzuru wants tonight - to be broken by this man, ripped apart, taken into tiny pieces when there is nothing left but the blinding, deafening pleasure, when there is no coherent thought left in his mind anymore, only the numbness and the pain of his spent, aching body parts. 

All it takes is just a single glance. 

A seemingly innocent glance up into Xinyu's kind, dark eyes, and suddenly the man is not smiling anymore. As Yuzuru looks up at him through his lashes, two dots of pastel pink petals still painted on his pale cheeks, he knows he will get what he wants.

He always does.

Well, _mostly._

It only takes a little bit more than ten minutes for Xinyu to approach Yuzuru when he is later sitting with his Cricket team mates, and he asks him if he wants to join him and Shiyue for a drink at the bar. Yuzuru gets up and follows him towards the door - which is definitely, positively _not_ the bar - but before that he makes sure to take a look at Javi, whose dumbfounded and downright _shocked_ expression makes something flutter in Yuzuru's heart. Both with pain and pride, a weird mixture of sweet revenge, smug satisfaction and torturous longing tainting his bloodstream. 

As he and Xinyu step out to the dimly lit hallway and walk to the elevators, the silence between them is tense, taut with ravenous need. Just like a bowstring pulled tight but not yet released, something is hanging above their heads, the unspoken, heavy, dirty feeling of _want_ \- raw, animalistic desire towering over them. When they step inside the elevator and the two metal doors close with a soft thud, shutting all the noise of the banquet outside, it is perfectly silent for a fragile second. Yuzuru can hear his own heartbeat echoing in his ears, the blood rushing through his veins so loud he can't sense anything else.

Xinyu opens his mouth to speak, only to be cut off by Yuzuru's vicious attack, small hands wrapping around broad shoulders as Yuzuru stands on his tiptoes and pulls Xinyu down into a greedy kiss. The unexpectedness of his shameless arousal catches Xinyu off guard, and he loses his balance for a moment, his back crashing against the elevator's wall behind him.

"Yuzu-" he breathes against the boy's mouth, trying to form a sentence, but Yuzuru doesn't want him to speak.

He bites the man's lower lip, almost strong enough to draw blood, and Xinyu hisses, but Yuzuru gets what he wants, he always does, except for that one time he didn't, but that is exactly what he wants to forget tonight, and he smirks into the kiss as Xinyu's hands wrap around his waist to pull him against his own body.

"Don't talk," Yuzuru gasps against Xinyu's bruised lips, his hands still holding onto the man's shoulders, desperate and demanding. "I just... I want..."

The elevator stops and Yuzuru takes a quick step back when the doors open, arranging his hair as he steps outside. He greets the cleaning lady with a polite smile, then continues walking towards his room, his legs heavy, Xinyu's gaze on his back the whole time. His fingers are shaking as he opens the door with his key card, and when he closes it behind them once they're inside, he yelps - Xinyu grabs him by his hips and pulls him into his arms without a warning.

"You didn't finish," he says, mouthing the words against Yuzuru's ear, his hot breath sending shivers through the boy's whole body. "What do you want?"

He brings his hand up to Yuzuru's face, brushing his fingertips against his jawline, gentle and soft, and it makes Yuzuru's skin _crawl_.

"Not like this," he says, taking a hold of Xinyu's hand, quick and confident.

Xinyu seems uncertain, like he doesn't understand what Yuzuru means. His grip on the boy's waist loosens a little, but he doesn't move. Yuzuru grabs his collar and turns his head just enough for their lips to be close - almost touching, but still not close enough to taste each other.

"I want you to _break me_," he breathes, his voice faltering as his own need overtakes him, the maddening urgency to be absolutely and utterly destroyed almost preventing him from finishing his sentence.

That's all he wants right now. Yuzuru doesn't want to be loved or cherished, he doesn't want to be handled with care. He doesn't want to be in control. He wants to feel the sharp, dull pain when he wakes up tomorrow, he wants to come apart, to scream, to forget everything else that has ever happened to him before this evening. He wants to feel Xinyu inside him, to feel how big and painful he is as he penetrates him, merciless and not careful at all. 

Xinyu doesn't question him. He pushes Yuzuru against the wall and kisses him, and the loud moan tearing out from Yuzuru's throat is obscene, almost shameful, the unmasked proof of his desperate, pitiful state. Yuzuru's shoulder blades and head press against the cold surface of the wall and it's uncomfortable as hell, but so, so real.

It hurts and it hurts _right now_. In the present, now, not yesterday, not tomorrow.

_Tomorrow doesn't exist._

Xinyu grabs his hair, strong, long fingers pulling at his jet black locks, forcing Yuzuru's head to the side as Xinyu devours his neck, biting and licking and sucking on the soft, pale skin, already hypersensitive and full of goosebumps despite the scorching hot air around them, generated by their own bodies. Yuzuru closes his eyes and holds on to Xinyu as the man leaves painful bruises all over his neck, teeth scraping against his sensitive skin as breathy, whiny moans escape his own parted lips.

"You sound beautiful," Xinyu whispers, clearly losing his earlier self-control with each passing second.

Yuzuru just moans louder at that, deliberate on making it sound even more obscene, now that he knows Xinyu likes it. Xinyu bites his own lower lip then grabs Yuzuru's suit, drags it off his shoulders and tosses it to the floor, only to continue with the white shirt underneath, uncoordinated and hasty, chasing his desire, blind and brainless like a rabid animal. He undoes Yuzuru's belt with a loud click and drags his pants down, and Yuzuru finishes his work by kicking his underwear and socks off as well. Xinyu is still fully clothed, and he takes a few seconds to admire the view in front of him - Yuzuru completely and perfectly naked apart from his necklaces and bracelets, toned chest framing tiny and perk light brown nipples, lean, rock hard abs and an obscenely narrow waist, erection already leaking and straining against his lower abdomen, and smooth, muscular thighs curving into wide, alluring hips.

The look in Xinyu's eyes almost scares Yuzuru, but more than anything, it makes his blood boil with need even stronger. He feels as a drop of precum rolls down his shaft and drips to the floor, making him shiver. The next thing Yuzuru knows are two forceful hands capturing his waist and picking him up like he is nothing but a helpless, weightless doll. He wraps his legs around Xinyu's hips and whimpers as the man pushes his back against the wall once more, their hot, flaming bodies so close that Xinyu's clothed erection rubs against Yuzuru's just right.

"I want you so much," Xinyu confesses, his accent thick and his voice shaking, fingers digging into the two hard muscles of Yuzuru's ass, surely leaving bruises on his pale, delicate skin - and that's exactly what Yuzuru craves tonight.

Xinyu rolls his hips against Yuzuru's, his hardness pressing against the boy's naked form while he places wet, sloppy kisses all over his pronounced collarbones and defined chest, gripping his ass even stronger. "I've wanted you for years. I never thought I could... I've always-"

Yuzuru lifts his hand from Xinyu's shoulder and grabs the short black hair on the back of his head, forcing him to look into his dark, glossy eyes, clouded by nothing but want.

"Then have me," he commands, grinding his hips against Xinyu, eyes half-lidded and voice trembling. "Take me. I'm yours tonight."

The word _tonight_ rolls off his tongue differently than the rest, making sure Xinyu understands there will _not_ be a second time, and he will _never_ have Yuzuru, not really.

Xinyu hisses something yet again, and Yuzuru doesn't understand a single word he says, but he doesn't care, he really doesn't. Yuzuru holds onto Xinyu's broad, muscular shoulders as

Xinyu keeps his hands steady on Yuzuru's ass and carries him to the nearest flat surface - the dining table. Yuzuru's back hits the hard material, the ice cold of the white marble table beneath his skin making him wince, the torturous paradox of the scorching heat of his skin and the freezing cold surface forcing a whine out of him. Xinyu finally undresses and tosses his own clothes next to the pile of Yuzuru's on the floor, then pulls Yuzuru up by taking a hold of his hands, chiseled muscles moving beautifully underneath his skin, forcing their bodies closer together.

As Yuzuru finally feels hot skin against his own instead of fabric for the first time in a year, he chokes out a needy moan. An unwanted rush of memories attack him, presenting themselves almost as a black and white roll of film in front of his eyes.

Skin that felt and smelled different, lips that tasted sweeter, stubble that rubbed against his face and scraped his skin and made him giggle; a voice that whispered little compliments and confessions against his trembling lips in a melodic language; and a smile, _oh, that smile_, and those two big brown eyes that flew him to the hot Spanish summer he’s been dreaming of, the rolling green fields next to Madrid so vivid he could smell the scent of freshly cut grass every single time he got lost in them.

Yuzuru feels tears in his eyes, sharp and burning, but the cruel flashback is only ephemeral - Xinyu yanks him back into the present as he grabs his thick thighs and wraps them around his own hips, both of them groaning into each other's mouth as their bodies press together.

"I don't have a condom," Xinyu chokes out between kisses, and Yuzuru pushes his fingernails into his shoulders a bit harder.

"I don't care," he pants, then reaches down between their bodies to wrap his hand around Xinyu.

They both gasp at the contact, Yuzuru welcoming the familiarity yet the unfamiliarity of it all, biting his own lip as he looks down and watches his own delicate fingers work around Xinyu's shaft. He's rock hard, and bigger than what Yuzuru has ever seen before. On a different night, maybe Yuzuru would feel a bit of a fear and intimidation by looking at it, but right now it's nothing but satisfaction. Xinyu is hot, hard and yet silky soft, and as Yuzuru feels the thick veins underneath his fingers, he wonders how they will feel inside him. Xinyu is pushing against Yuzuru's hand now, his hips moving on their own as he holds Yuzuru close by his waist, exchanging sloppy kisses and drinking the air from each other's mouth, filthy and desperate, driven by nothing but their needs. From the way his cock is straining in his hand fully coated by its own precum, Yuzuru knows Xinyu is already getting close to the edge. At any other time, he would take this as a compliment, but right now, he responds by wrapping his hand around the base of the shaft and squeezing hard, making Xinyu cry out both in pain and pleasure.

"Not yet," Yuzuru says, low and almost threatening, making Xinyu's cock twitch underneath his long, elegant fingers.

Xinyu clutches Yuzuru's hands and pushes him down back on the table, Yuzuru's flushed chest heaving as Xinyu starts licking and kissing him all over his body, taking each of his nipples in his mouth and biting down on them hard, leaving bruises behind. Yuzuru whimpers, loud and shameless, lifting his hips off the table to try and grind against Xinyu. The man puts his hands on each side of Yuzuru's waist, pushing him down and preventing him from moving, clearly not intending to let Yuzuru chase his own pleasure so easily. His big hands are strong and forceful on Yuzuru's tiny, narrow waist, filling Yuzuru with the delicious, oh so craved sensation of being owned and controlled.

"I want to eat you out," Xinyu says, his voice so desperate that Yuzuru barely understands his words. "Will you let me?"

Yuzuru looks at the man standing above him, tall and muscular, the vein on the side of his neck pulsing visibly, sweat gathering around his temples, cheeks flushed as he is staring down at Yuzuru's naked body in front of him with clouded eyes, like he can't believe how lucky he is. Yuzuru doesn't say anything, he simply lifts his thighs, bends his knees and spreads his legs wide as an answer. The sound of the air getting trapped in Xinyu's throat as he gasps makes Yuzuru smirk in satisfaction.

"Stop asking. I said... I'm yours tonight," Yuzuru tells him, making direct eye contact with Xinyu as he coats his own forefinger with saliva and sucks on it. He makes a show out of it, sucking and licking then releasing it with a loud pop. He brings his hand down and brushes past his own straining hardness, but he ignores it and slides his finger down between his cheeks, circling the smooth, tight ring of muscle, making sure Xinyu sees every little detail.

The animalistic groan leaving Xinyu's throat makes Yuzuru's heart skip a beat. The man drops to his knees next to the dining table then grabs Yuzuru and pulls his body closer to the edge to have better access to him. Yuzuru gasps as he feels hot, wet kisses against his inner thighs, then Xinyu takes a hold of both of his legs and pushes them up, closer to Yuzuru's chest, opening him up as much as possible in this position. Xinyu takes his time to suck and bite the soft flesh of Yuzuru's thighs, torturing him for what feels like hours before moving on, leaving red spots all over Yuzuru's pale skin that will soon turn purple. 

It has been a while since Yuzuru was touched down there by anything other than his own fingers, so when Xinyu goes and licks into him for the first time, he downright wails.

Xinyu is anything but gentle, kissing and biting and licking against Yuzuru's opening with obscene groans, pushing his tongue inside him without a warning.

Yuzuru throws his head back, hands holding on to each side of the table as the man between his trembling thighs eats him like no one has ever done before. He grabs and squeezes Yuzuru's left ass cheek only to release it quick and slap it hard, and Yuzuru cries out, both in shock and pleasure, the sting on his skin sending a shiver through his body and making his hard cock twitch on his stomach visibly. The marble is cold and uncomfortable beneath him as he squirms, lewd and shameless moans rolling off his lips. Yuzuru feels a sudden touch on his abs and a hand reaches for his face, and he needs no explanation to open his mouth and take one of Xinyu's fingers inside, licking and sucking on it with loud, muffled moans.

"You're driving me crazy," Xinyu chokes out as Yuzuru sucks his finger while looking at him, his own eyes distant and hazy with need, pale cheeks flushed pink with a delicious sheen of sweat illuminating his cheekbones.

Xinyu pulls his finger back and disappears between Yuzuru's thighs once again, his hot lips returning to his opening. He licks and kisses the skin around it, drawing it out while he pushes one of his fingers inside coated by Yuzuru's own saliva. Yuzuru's thighs tremble and his whimpers are loud and pained as Xinyu starts fingering him, his one and only goal is what Yuzuru has asked him earlier - to break him and make him scream. He continues planting loud and hungry kisses against Yuzuru's ass as his finger slides in and out of him, drawing more and more pained moans out of the boy.

Yuzuru cries out and shivers as another squeeze then a sharp, hard slap lands on his right ass cheek, and when Xinyu adds a second finger without warning, Yuzuru can feel a small, sticky pool of precum starting to gather on his stomach. His breathing is quick and shallow, and his mind is empty, just a dizzying, poisonous mixture of pain and pleasure as Xinyu continues to spank and finger him at the same time, whispering filthy, foreign words against his soft, heated skin each time he licks into him.

"You taste so nice," he says, biting down on Yuzuru's inner thigh, squeezing and pulling his cheeks apart. "I want to fuck you so bad."

Yuzuru wants to tell him to shut up and do it already, but then Xinyu adds a third finger - and the pained, elongated whimper escaping Yuzuru's mouth is so loud that half the hotel must hear it. Xinyu curses at that, his fingers moving apart in Yuzuru as he opens him up, fast and merciless. Yuzuru's erection twitches against his stomach, releasing another clear drop of precum. This is not enough, not enough at all. Yuzuru wants more, his thighs are already shaking, his body trembling with desperate need, the need for more and more and _more_, deeper and harder.

"Put it in," he manages to choke out for the third try, his voice raspy and weak, knuckles white as he holds onto the edges of the table beneath him.

Xinyu looks up at him from between his parted legs, and Yuzuru spreads them even wider, lifting his hips slightly, offering himself up.

"Hurry" he whines, and Xinyu can't look away from him for several seconds.

He's enticing.

His lithe, muscular body trembling with _want_ on top of the dining table, legs spread, hole open and shiny from saliva. The contrast of his seemingly pale skin that shines golden against the white marble, a thin coat of sweat illuminating his entire body and making it appear like he's made of diamonds, the precum pooling on his stomach glistening in a lustrous, clear shade of pearl. His beautiful, raven hair sticking to his sweaty temples, dark eyes clouded with mindless desire, cheeks flushed with a lovely, pastel color of pink, and his full, plump lips swollen and deep cherry red from all the kissing.

Xinyu staring at him makes Yuzuru even more impatient, and he lets out an unsatisfied groan, reaching down to his erection. This seems to snap Xinyu out of his trance. He stands up only to lean down and onto Yuzuru, pressing their bodies together while he kisses him and runs his hands up and down his body, trying to feel everything at once, trying to make it last, wanting to remember the silkiness of Yuzuru's skin forever, trying to imprint the scent of his hair into his brain.

Yuzuru wraps his strong legs around Xinyu's waist, pulling him even closer and reaching out to grab the man's ass, ruthless and impatient, making Xinyu groan.

"I said hurry," Yuzuru gasps into Xinyu's neck, nails digging into the muscles of his ass.

"Lube?" Xinyu breathes out, his voice weak.

Yuzuru whines.

"I don't need," he replies, knowing full well that he's wrong, and with Xinyu's size, they both need it - but perhaps he just wants to feel the pain as much as possible.

Xinyu seems to see right through him, though.

"Where is it," the man says, more than a demand rather than a question, and Yuzuru scoffs, nodding towards the bathroom door with his head.

Yuzuru stares at the ceiling as Xinyu leaves him. The man hurries to the bathroom and returns with a small bottle only a few seconds later, opening the cap halfway and coating two of his fingers with the lube. He pushes them inside Yuzuru once again, and this time it's easier, and Yuzuru's moan is loud, partly satisfied, partly frustrated. He is tired of all this torturous teasing and preparing, he wants to come apart already, feel that man pulsing inside him, filling him up and stretching him apart.

Xinyu soon takes his fingers out and coates himself with the lube, clumsy and quick, eager to finally be inside Yuzuru. He grabs the boy's thighs and pushes them apart even wider, wanting to see every little detail as he goes in. He pushes the leaking tip against Yuzuru's opening, which still seems impossibly small and tight for him to go in. Xinyu's hands are shaking as he tries to guide himself in, eyes fixated on the tip as it slowly pushes through the tight ring of muscle, the sight almost enough to make him dizzy. Yuzuru closes his eyes and throws his head back, his adam's apple bobbing, mouth falling open in a silent scream, air escaping his lungs. His whole body tenses up at the sharp, burning pain overpowering him.

It hurts _so_ bad, more than Yuzuru thought it would, and he welcomes the pain like an old friend.

Xinyu hisses, fingers digging into Yuzuru's inner thighs. 

"I can't-"

He is ready to pull out, but Yuzuru's eyes snap open and he reaches down to catch Xinyu's left forearm, squeezing it so hard that his nails dig into the man's skin painfully.

"_No_," he demands, gritting his teeth, his flushed face shiny with sweat. "I want it. Now, do it alre-"

His voice stumbles and turns into a whimper when Xinyu forces his hips forward and buries himself inside Yuzuru's tight heat in one move, still grasping the boy's thighs so hard that blood escapes the pale skin where Xinyu's fingers dig into it, turning it even more ghostly.

Yuzuru's eyes shut tight and his hands reach for something, anything to hold on to. He's never experienced anything so big inside him. The sharp, scorching pain paralyzes his lower half and makes him nauseous, his whole body breaking out in cold sweat. He tries to gasp for breath, but he can't. He is desperate for air, lungs expanding in one swift move and chest rising and coming to a sharp stop almost immediately.

It's numbing. 

He can't breathe. The room is spinning around him.

He presses his lips together, and he can feel himself going soft, the pain overpowering his lust and his pleasure.

That's when a warm hand touches his lower belly, careful and uncertain, like Xinyu is afraid Yuzuru will push him away. Yuzuru stills, perfectly motionless, feeling Xinyu's hand circling his skin around and underneath his navel in soothing, circular motions, soft and gentle like the touch of a feather. Yuzuru's rib cage moves, deflating as he lets out the breath he has been holding, the man's palm still caressing his skin as an attempt to calm and soothe him. Xinyu touches his thighs next, running his hands up and down slowly, but Yuzuru's eyes are still closed, lost in concentration. He can feel that Xinyu's fingers are slightly trembling, perhaps because his own arousal and his need to move and thrust is starting to overrule his intention to take Yuzuru's pain away. The calming touch of his hands seem to be working though, and the burning pain abusing Yuzuru's lower body subsides just a little bit. He opens his eyes and reaches down to grab Xinyu's hand and squeeze it, to let him know it's okay now.

Their eyes meet and Yuzuru feels like crying for a short, fragile moment, his throat tight, abused by the iron fist of his memories.

But he chases them away, letting his head fall back on the cold hard marble as Xinyu pulls almost all the way out of him, then pushes back in with a low, pleased groan, fingers digging into Yuzuru's thighs. Yuzuru cries out, the pain and the pleasure mixing inside him, a cruel vortex taking control of his whole being, all his thoughts, all his senses. He feels like he is about to be ripped apart from the inside, and with each, deep thrust, he welcomes the satisfying sensation even more - the enthralling, poisonous feeling of being full, being owned and dominated.

Intoxicating.

Not enough.

More, more, more.

Xinyu's body is glistening with sweat as he fucks Yuzuru with deep, hard thrusts, fighting to keep his eyes open just so he can see the boy laying on the table beneath him - his beautiful body spread out and at his mercy, appearing like a breathtaking painting on a white canvas, carefully crafted, like the finest art, the most detailed sculpture.

Every single time Xinyu pushes back inside him, Yuzuru cries out, and as the thrusts become faster, he loses his composure more and more. His eyes find the ceiling, the warm yellow light of the chandelier above surrounding him like a comical halo, its dim lights mirrored in his teary, lust-filled eyes. The ache in his body shifts, morphing into vigorous, staggering pleasure, each push inside his heated body shoving him closer to the edge. His voice stutters, his broken moans echo back from the walls in chorus with Xinyu's, the profane noise of skin slapping against skin filling the whole hotel suite.

When Xinyu pushes his folded legs closer to Yuzuru's chest, he hits something inside him that makes him _wail_. Xinyu chokes out Yuzuru's name then pulls out, as if he's trying to hold his climax, cursing and hissing all the way through it.

He curses, the vein on his forehead pulsing visibly. 

"I almost-"

Yuzuru looks at him with half-lidded eyes, biting down on his own, plump lower lip. He feels awfully empty all of a sudden, and it makes him tremble with need.

"Please," he whines, arching his back on the table and slowly circling his hips, trying to invite Xinyu back. "Put it back. Please. Please, I'm begging you, I need--"

Xinyu curses yet again, then reaches for Yuzuru and picks him up in one swift motion, making the boy yelp. He takes Yuzuru's trembling legs and wraps them around his own waist, and Yuzuru holds onto his shoulders with his face buried into the man's neck while he carries him somewhere. He doesn't know where or why, and he couldn't care less. He wants Xinyu to do whatever he wishes to do with him, and that is exactly what he is getting right now.

Yuzuru whimpers when his back is pushed against a surface even colder than the marble was. He opens his eyes and realizes that Xinyu has carried him to the tall, wide window overlooking Saitama, his back pushed against the thick, cold glass as Xinyu holds him up by his ass and continues fucking into him with deep, hard thrusts, making Yuzuru scream with each move, hitting that spot inside his heated body over and over and over again. 

Yuzuru's eyes are open but he can't see, not really, the colors of the hotel suite swirling around in front of him, his vision blurred with pleasure as he is split open with each push, the blinding sensation of the thick, hot hardness inside him filling him up and ramming against his sensitive spot too much for him to handle. He wraps his arms around Xinyu's neck as the man leans into his and bites down on his pale, delicate shoulder, making the boy moan even louder.

"I wish everyone could see you like this," Xinyu groans into his neck, biting on the skin without mercy. "Anyone in these buildings around us could see you right now, being fucked against the window."

Yuzuru groans, his aching, untouched erection twitching at those words, a jolt of pleasure shooting through him as he comes all over himself and Xinyu, unexpected and deafening, and embarrassingly fast - but he doesn't care, he doesn't see, doesn't hear, there is nothing else but the powerful waves of pleasure shattering him into pieces right now. 

Xinyu's nails dig into Yuzuru's skin painfully hard, slamming into him fast and shallow as the boy twitches and contracts around him while going through the last shudders of his orgasm. In a few seconds, Yuzuru's body goes weak and limp in Xinyu's arms, but the man doesn't stop.

"You get off on being watched like this?" Xinyu groans into his ears, his teeth playing with Yuzuru's soft earlobe, licking and biting. "You want everyone to see how hard and rough you like it?"

"Yes," Yuzuru whispers, stuttering, his ears still ringing from his orgasm, his head dizzy and heavy. "Yes, give it to me, harder, please, more-"

Yuzuru is not even aware of what he is saying, and sometimes he cries out out words in Japanese instead of English, his mind foggy and perfectly empty, completely unaware of his surroundings. Nothing else exists but Xinyu inside him, his strong, muscular arms holding him up and pushing his back against the window, creating an obscene, filthy show for anyone who might look their way from the tall skyscrapers around them.

Yuzuru is vaguely aware of the feeling of Xinyu pulling out of him in a haste with a choked back moan. He puts him down, and Yuzuru's legs give out. He drops to his knees in front of the man, and Xinyu wants to pick him up at first, but then he stops; as if he just had another idea. He takes a hold of his cock and guides it to Yuzuru's face, and Yuzuru doesn't even question him, just opens his mouth and wraps his lips around the shaft in one, swift move. Xinyu is crying out curses as Yuzuru sucks him off, fast and deep, so deep that he chokes several times and has to pull off to cough, saliva dripping from his mouth.

But Yuzuru takes Xinyu back into his mouth without hesitation and looks up at the man as he sucks him off, full, cherry red lips wrapped around the thick shaft, blurred, teary eyes hazy with pleasure, cheeks flushed pink and hair disheveled and sticky with sweat. He is a mess, an absolute, utter mess, perfectly lost in his current task, and the thought of people looking out the window in the building next to them and maybe seeing him like this makes Yuzuru moan out loud. Xinyu grabs his hair and thrusts into his mouth, trying to hold back as much as possible, and even though Yuzuru wants him to go harder, he doesn't. Even like this, he hits the back of Yuzuru's throat each time, making him choke, and every time that happens, Yuzuru digs his fingers into Xinyu's hips even stronger, determined not to let go. When Xinyu stops, Yuzuru doesn't. He continues, desperate and loud, his own, obscene slurping sounds and muffled moans stirring something up inside him even more.

"Yuzu, Yuzu, damn, stop," Xinyu curses, grabbing the boy's shoulders and pulling away from him with a moan.

He hisses then lets out a chuckle, and as he says something in Chinese, he reaches for Yuzuru and snatches him into his arms bridal style, just like he did earlier at the banquet. He carries him to the wide, snow-white couch a few steps away from the window, and puts him down on it with shaking arms. Xinyu's body is burning, his skin damp and flushed pink on his chest and neck, constantly on the edge of his orgasm, trying to make this last, trying to make this night as long as possible.

"Turn around," Xinyu instructs Yuzuru in a shaky voice, and to Yuzuru, it's barely audible and distant, his ears still ringing, blood rushing through his veins loudly, his mind empty. "Quick, on all fours."

Yuzuru does as he's told, gathering all his remaining energy and turning around to get on all fours. Xinyu positions himself behind him with one leg still on the floor and the other kneeling on the couch behind Yuzuru, his palms immediately finding their way to Yuzuru's ass. He grabs the two hard muscles and gives them a good squeeze, whispering something to himself in a hoarse, unstable tone. Yuzuru arches into his touch as the man runs his hands up his back, his narrow waist and his ribcage, then his shoulders. Xinyu is lost in the moment, Yuzuru's skin is soft and immaculate all over, dark moles painted on it like rare, expensive gemstones. He pushes Yuzuru's upper body down so the boy's shoulders dig into the couch beneath him, his head pushed into the soft white fabric before he turns it to the side and lets out an impatient moan. He arches his back and pushes his ass out, widening the space between his thighs as an offer, an invitation, but perhaps, as a way to _beg_.

Xinyu moans, staring down at Yuzuru's gaping opening, glistening with lube.

Yuzuru whimpers, trying to arch his lower back even more.

"_Please, don't stop. Please, put it back_," he whispers in Japanese, not being able to form coherent words in English anymore.

Xinyu grabs his hips then delivers a sharp, stinging slap on his left ass cheek, making Yuzuru cry out loud in both pain and overruling pleasure. The hard smack sends an almost electric shock down his body, straight into his groin.

"_Oh, yes,_" he cries, feeling himself getting hard again.

Xinyu smacks his ass again, and again, so many times that Yuzuru loses count - the loud slap of skin on skin echoes in the air around them in synch with Yuzuru's obscene moans, and the thrilling and almost shameful sensation of being dominated and spanked like this pushes him closer and closer to a second orgasm. Xinyu stops after a few torturous minutes, leaving Yuzuru's skin on his behind bright red and burning. Yuzuru holds his breath, expecting the familiar sensation of the man penetrating him once more. He gasps in shock when he feels Xinyu's mouth against him instead, kissing and licking into his hole with loud, appreciative moans. Yuzuru yelps at the unexpectedness of it all, the hotness of Xinyu's breath fanning against his damp skin as he licks inside him, then down his perineum, making the boy cry out in both frustration and pleasure. Xinyu grabs Yuzuru's erection from behind and gives it a few shallow pumps, which would not be enough for him in any other situation, but right now, on the edge of his second orgasm, Yuzuru wails and feels a generous amount of precum drop down to the couch beneath him.

"_Fuck me again,_" Yuzuru begs in Japanese, his voice trembling. "_Please, I need to feel you._"

Xinyu doesn't understand what he says, but he understands his tone, his expression, and the way he arches his back for him, ready and impatient, nothing but animalistic need taking control over his entire being. Xinyu pushes back in quickly, and Yuzuru chokes out a loud cry, his oversensitive body starting to reach its limit. He hears Xinyu's loud groans from behind him as he starts to fuck him again, his hands grabbing his ass, rough and merciless, his fingers digging into the boy's soft, heated skin. Yuzuru closes his eyes, the pleasure too overwhelming for him to keep them open. He is trying to hold on to the edge of the couch with his left hand, his small body moving a few inches each time Xinyu thrusts into him, and all he can feel is the man's hips and thighs hitting him from behind every single time, his cock ramming into that sensitive spot inside him. His ears are filled with the noises of skin slapping against skin, the wet, obscene sounds of his own body every time Xinyu splits him open, and his own, unrecognizable voice as he moans and whimpers

Coming apart, breaking into tiny, tiny pieces - the sharp shattering of his memories and thoughts almost audible on the floor next to them.

There's nothing else in the whole wide world in that moment.

Tomorrow doesn't exist, nor does yesterday.

Yuzuru's mouth opens, but no sound comes out. His body tenses up and freezes, cold and hot waves running through his entire being. He comes for the second time, untouched yet again, and he all but _screams_, his body shaking so violently that it pushes Xinyu past the edge too. He grabs the boy's shoulders and pulls his upper body up, Yuzuru's back is against his chest now. Yuzuru is not even aware of what's happening, his second orgasm still shaking his small body, thin spurts of cum dirtying the couch in front of him. His head falls back onto Xinyu's shoulder, and Xinyu bites into his neck, wrapping his strong arms around the boy's weak, spent body as he fucks into him in fast, shallow thrusts. He pushes inside him one last time, deep and painful. He buries himself to the tilt, then he stills. There is a short, transient moment of silence, then he fills Yuzuru up, accompanied by a low, pained groan. Yuzuru can feel him twitching inside his body, taking final claim on him and marking him from the inside, making him his and only his for tonight. Yuzuru is not aware of his own self - all he can feel is Xinyu's rapid heartbeat against his back, and when the man lets go of him, he simply collapses on the couch, like a lifeless sex doll.

His ears are ringing, and dizziness overpowers him, making the room swirl around him like a grotesque, cruel carousel.

Utter bliss and satisfaction overflows inside his veins as he slowly comes down his high, only vaguely aware of the warm, sticky substance leaking out from between his inner thighs. He feels Xinyu's hand on his lower back, then the man slowly pulls him up into his arms, both of them laying breathless on the couch, Yuzuru's head on Xinyu's chest, his body halfway on top of the other's. The man holds him in his arms, sliding his hand down his back and patting his ass, but whatever he says, Yuzuru doesn't pay attention.

He doesn't hear him, he doesn't see his face.

_It could be anyone, right?_

His eyelids are heavy, and they close within a few seconds as he drifts off into a deep slumber.

When he wakes up laying on his stomach - he doesn't know if it's ten minutes or ten hours later - he's on the couch all by himself, covered with a thin blanket. Yuzuru struggles to open his eyes as the bright red and orange lights of dawn abuse them. The empty hotel suite is painted a deep shade of pink by the rising sun, shining through the smudged fingerprints on the tall, wide window overlooking the city. The dull, throbbing pain in his entire body but especially in his lower back area hits him all of a sudden. His head falls back to the couch, and his nose is filled with a mixture of smells. The musky scent of Xinyu, the scent of sex itself. 

Yuzuru is aching all over, and god, it feels _good_.

The bathroom's door opens and Yuzuru just realizes he's been hearing the steady flow of water all this time. Xinyu steps out, freshly showered, a towel wrapped around his waist, skin glistening with water. When he notices that Yuzuru is awake, his expression changes; an honest, excited, but somehow nervous smile.

"Good morning," he says. "Sorry I, I didn't wait for you. I didn't wanna wake you, you were so-"

Xinyu's voice dies, like he is uncertain if he should even talk or not. He dries himself up with the towel, and Yuzuru remains silent. His eyes follow Xinyu's every single movement, looking at his naked form shamelessly, drinking it all in with a small smirk on his lips.

Xinyu gets his clothes from the pile on the floor and puts his trousers on along with his white shirt, then approaches Yuzuru and sits on the sofa next to the couch, hesitant and unsure.

"Are you okay?" he asks. "Sorry if I was a bit-"

Yuzuru shakes his head and smiles, then pushes the blanket off himself and turns on his back, stretching like a cat. He makes a show out of it on purpose, putting his lithe, muscular body on full display. From the corner of his eyes, he can see Xinyu staring at him with an open mouth, and this time, Yuzuru doesn't hide his wide grin.

"I'm okay" he finally says, knees bent and legs slightly pulled up, arms stretched out above his head. He flashes an innocent smile at Xinyu, who tries his best to keep his eyes above Yuzuru's neck, which seems downright hilarious in the given context.

"Yuzu," Xinyu calls his name, and Yuzuru raises his brows in a questioning look, still smiling innocently as if he wasn't completely naked in front of the man who fucked him senseless last night.

"Do you, maybe-"

Xinyu mutters something in Chinese and scratches the back of his head, then starts over. He seems jittery, like a teenage boy asking someone out for prom, and Yuzuru feels bad for him for a fragile moment.

"Do you wanna go out for a drink later today? Or, or maybe, if you don't want that, maybe something else, whatever you want-"

Xinyu doesn't really finish the sentence. Maybe he could sense Yuzuru's feelings, the patronizing pity he feels for the man, or the _lack of it_ maybe - because he made it clear last night that this would be their first and last time together. No matter how endearing Xinyu's approaches were to him, Yuzuru knew he doesn't want that drink. 

At least not today. Last week, if someone had asked him, Yuzuru would have said no without thinking. 

Bitter, sulking, licking his own wounds. Grieving a part of his soul that is gone forever.

_Javi, Javi, Javi._

Today... it's different.

Now he knows he can forget. Even if only for a few hours, but he did it. He could chase those cruel memories away. 

He can live without the warmth of the Spanish summer. He can live without those big brown eyes, those long eyelashes, that glowing smile.

Now, when Xinyu mentions that date for the third time since they have known each other, now, for the first time... Yuzuru can't reply with a resounding no.

Now, it's not a no anymore.

Not yet.

Maybe next week.

Maybe...

Yuzuru slowly stands up and wraps the thin blanket around his naked body lazily, the morning sun shining through the fabric and illuminating his form, a sinful, erotic silhouette. He walks to Xinyu, who's still sitting on the sofa. The man stares up at him as Yuzuru stops and puts his small hands on his broad shoulders, gentle and barely there.

"I had great time with you. Thank you," he smiles, sweet and syrupy, and Xinyu drinks all his words like they're the elixir of life itself.

Yuzuru ignores the sharp aching in his body and starts walking towards the bathroom, quiet and elegant like a cat. Xinyu stands too, and is ready to leave on the front door with his suit thrown over his shoulder when Yuzuru stops him by calling his name for the first time since their encounter in Saitama.

"Xinyu?" Yuzuru says in a small voice, leaning against the bathroom door, the thin blanket revealing his shoulders and chest, full of hickeys and lovebites. "Ask me tomorrow."

A hopeful smile blossoms on Xinyu's lips.

Maybe tomorrow _does_ exist, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it!  
Comments would be highly appreciated. <3


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